Oneness in Marriage: Fighting for a union that embodies God’s image and likeness

During this week's Marriage of Three Strands Bible study, we delved into the topic of oneness and why it's important to fight for it in our marriages.

As stated in Genesis 1:26-27, "Then God said, let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them."

God's image and likeness embodies His character. By being made in his image and likeness, we reflect and express His character. This is humbling and powerful!

Furthermore, when we look at Mark 10:8, "and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” God made and sees a married couple as one entity, not two individuals. Oneness in marriage is a beautiful and powerful thing. Unfortunately, the oneness is often threatened by various factors.

• First on the list is criticism. Words can wound deeply, and when we use them to tear down our partner, we are chipping away at the marriage. Instead, we must use our words to build each other up and affirm the unity we share.

• Resentment is another enemy of oneness. Holding onto grudges and bitterness can quickly poison a marriage, leading to division and disharmony. It's crucial to address any issues as they arise and seek forgiveness and reconciliation.

• Outside voices can also erode the oneness in marriage. We need to be intentional about guarding our marriage and seeking wise Godly counsel because there is safety there. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

• Unrealisitc/Unhealthy expectations can also sabotage oneness. If we have unrealistic or unspoken expectations of our spouse, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. We need to communicate clearly and work together to create a strong, unified marriage.

• Unforgiveness is a thief! When we hold on to past hurts and refuse to forgive our partner, we create a barrier to true oneness in our marriage. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness, resentment, and a breakdown of trust, making it difficult to move forward as a couple. To overcome unforgiveness, we need to be willing to extend forgiveness even when it's difficult and to seek help from a trusted counselor or spiritual advisor if needed.

• Unhealed trauma can also have a profound impact on our ability to experience oneness in marriage. If we have experienced abuse, neglect, or other forms of trauma, it can be difficult to trust our partner and fully open ourselves up to them. Seeking professional help and support can be critical in working through past trauma and building a healthy, thriving marriage.

• Another danger to oneness is the gradual erosion of harmony. Sometimes, it's not any one big thing that breaks down the oneness in our marriage, but rather little things that add up over time creating distance and division. To prevent this erosion, we need to be intentional about spending quality time together, expressing appreciation and gratitude, and working together to overcome challenges as they arise.

• Finally, the image depicted of marriage in Hollywood can result in disappointment: The media, including Hollywood movies and TV shows, often portray a distorted and unrealistic view of marriage that can set us up for disappointment and disillusionment. These depictions often focus on superficial aspects of the relationship, such as romance and passion, while downplaying the hard work and commitment that is required for a successful marriage. To avoid falling into this trap, we need to be mindful of the messages we are receiving and intentionally seek out healthy, positive role models and examples of strong, thriving marriages. We need to reject the lies of the world and embrace the beauty and power of oneness in marriage.

Intentionality and a willingness to address the elements that threaten oneness in marriage is key.

In conclusion, oneness is not just a nice idea - it is a vital component of a healthy, thriving marriage. By recognizing and addressing the things that can break down our oneness, we can build strong, lasting relationships that reflect the image of our Creator.

Let's fight for oneness in our marriages and experience the fullness of God's plan for us as husband and wife!